Growth Spurt

She had a hard-on, she had a muscle out of place
 It looked peculiar, occupying and unlikely space
 She saw a doctor and he cut her wide
 When he saw inside, he nearly died
 She had a sister, she had a sibling in her groin
 A small relation with whom she didn't know she'd joined
 This was a problem 'cause she'd always been
 The queen of hearts, a spoiled only child
 She called her Shirley, she dressed her in the finest clothes
 But she was racked with pain 'cause Shirley had a cuter nose
 She saw a doctor and he cut the lump and he smooth the hump
 To make her look much better from the side, oh
 But things are never quite that simple
 They change and stay the same and fade away
 Her husband left her, he didn't like her nose at all
 So she blamed Shirley, smashed her tiny head against the wall
 The judge and jury well, they watched her as she cried
 Threw her inside and tossed away the key, oh
 Well, things are never quite that simple
 They change and stay the same and fade away
 15 years later, they let her out for being good
 She made a fortune, carving little figures made of wood
 They were all Shirley but they were still and cold
 She made and sold them till the day she died