Maria

She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee
 Her dress has got a tear
 She waltzes on her way to Mass
 And whistles on the stairs
 And underneath her wimple
 She has curlers in her hair!
 I've even heard her singing in the abbey!
 She's always late for chapel
 But her penitence is real
 She's always late for everything
 Except for every meal
 I hate to have to say it
 But I very firmly feel
 Maria's not an asset to the abbey!
 I'd like to say a word in her behalf
 Maria makes me laugh
 How do you solve a problem like Maria?
 How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
 How do you find a word that means Maria?
 A flibbertijibbet, a willo-the-wisp, a clown!
 Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
 Many a thing she ought to understand
 But how do you make her stay?
 And listen to all you say?
 How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
 Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
 How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
 When I'm with her, I'm confused
 Out of focus and bemused
 And I never know exactly where I am
 Unpredictable as weather
 She's as flighty as a feather
 She's a darling, she's a demon
 She's a lamb!
 She'd out-pester any pest
 Drive a hornet from its nest
 She can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
 She is gentle, she is wild
 She's a riddle, she's a child
 She's a headache!
 She's an angel!
 She's a girl!
 How do you solve a problem like Maria?
 How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
 How do you find a word that means Maria?
 A flibbertijibbet, a willo-the-wisp, a clown!
 Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
 Many a thing she ought to understand
 But how do you make her stay?
 And listen to all you say?
 How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
 Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
 How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?