Changing My Major

What happened last night
 Are you really here?
 Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan
 Hi Joan!
 Don't wake up Joan
 Oh my God last night
 Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God,
 Oh my God last night
 I was so excited
 I was too enthusiastic
 Thank you for not laughing,
 Well you laughed a little bit
 At one point when I was touching you
 And said I might lose consciousness
 Which you said was adorable
 And I just have to trust
 That you don't think I'm an idiot
 Or some kind of an animal
 I never lost control due to overwhelming lust
 But I must
 Say that I'm
 Changing my major to Joan
 I'm changing my major to sex with Joan
 I'm changing my major to sex with Joan
 With a minor in kissing Joan
 Foreign study to Joan's inner thighs
 A seminar on Joan's ass in her Levi's
 And Joan's crazy brown eyes
 Joan I feel like Hercules
 Oh God that sounds ridiculous
 Just keep on sleeping through this
 And I'll work on calming down
 So by the time you've woken up
 I'll be cool
 I'll be collected
 And I'll have found some dignity
 But who needs dignity
 'Cause this is so much better
 I'm radiating happiness
 Will you stay here with me
 For the rest of the semester
 We won't need any food
 We'll live on sex alone
 Sex with Joan
 I am writing a thesis on Joan
 It's a cutting edge field and my mind is blown
 I would gladly stay up every night to hone
 My compulsory skills with Joan
 I will study my way down her spine
 Familiarize myself with her well-made outline
 While she researches mine
 I don't know who I am
 I've become someone new
 Nothing I just did
 Is anything I would do
 Over night everything changed
 I am not prepared
 I'm dizzy, I'm nauseous, I'm shaky
 I'm scared
 Am I falling into nothingness
 Or flying into something so sublime
 I don't know
 But I'm
 Changing my major to Joan
 I thought all my life I'd be all alone
 But that was before I was lying prone
 In this dorm room bed with Joan
 Look she drooled on the pillow
 So sweet
 All sweaty and tangled up in my bed sheet
 And my heart feels complete
 Let's never leave this room
 How 'bout we stay here to finals
 I'll go to school forever
 I'll take out a dementedly high huge interest loan
 'Cause I'm changing my major
 To Joan