The Ladies Who Lunch

Here's to the ladies who lunch
 Everybody laugh
 Lounging in their caftans and planning a brunch
 On their own behalf
 Off to the gym, then to a fitting
 Claiming they're fat
 And looking grim 'cause they've been sitting
 Choosing a hat
 Does anyone still wear a hat?
 I'll drink to that
 Here's to the girls who stay smart
 Aren't they a gas?
 Rushing to their classes in optical art
 Wishing it would pass
 Another long exhausting day
 Another thousand dollars
 A matinee, a Pinter play
 Perhaps a piece of Mahler's
 I'll drink to that
 And one for Mahler
 Here's to the girls who play wife
 Aren't they too much?
 Keeping house but clutching a copy of Life
 Just to keep in touch
 The ones who follow the rules
 And meet themselves at the schools
 Too busy to know that they're fools
 Aren't they a gem?
 I'll drink to them
 Let's all drink to them
 And here's to the girls who just watch
 Aren't they the best?
 When they get depressed, it's a bottle of Scotch
 Plus a little jest
 Another chance to disapprove
 Another brilliant zinger
 Another reason not to move
 Another vodka stinger
 Ah!
 I'll drink to that
 So here's to the girls on the go
 Everybody tries
 Look into their eyes and you'll see what they know
 Everybody dies
 A toast to that invincible bunch
 The dinosaurs surviving the crunch
 Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch
 Everybody rise
 Rise
 Rise, rise
 Rise, rise
 Rise, rise
 Rise