Tommy the Canexican

Tommy the Canexican
 Vancouver-dwelling Mexican
 Staying with his next of kin
 and writing those bad checks again
 Old Hudson, he protects his men
 but makes them scrub those decks again
 A mad first mate stands next to him
 it's Tommy the Canexican
 Traveling round with his moose and donkey
 He's part Third World with a twist of honkey
 A dashing mix, but don't get him wrong 'cause he's
 Tommy the Canexican
 He likes hockey and he likes soccer
 He thinks real slow, but a really fast talker
 Selena's long gone, but Celine needs a stalker
 like Tommy the Canexican
 Got a brother Jose, another named Darryl
 one wears a poncho, the other warm apparel
 both sing a Spanish "Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald"
 for Tommy the Canexican
 One likes Dos Equis, the other likes Molsons
 One liked Nader, the other Pat Paulson
 Both have a crush on those twins called the Olsons
 must be cuz they're Canexican
 Tommy the Canexican
 Vancouver-dwelling Mexican
 Staying with his next of kin
 and writing those bad checks again
 ferrigno showed his pecs to win
 Imagine if he flexed at him
 The Yukon becomes Texas when
 there's Tommy the Canexican
 He eats tacos and he eats bacon
 five degrees removed from actor Kevin Bacon
 He's got seven sisters but all of them are taken
 by Tommy the Canexican
 He's got no trouble goin north of the border
 but crossin to the South he needs a court order
 A foosball table, anybody got a quarter?
 ask Tommy the Canexican
 Tommy the Canexican
 Vancouver-dwelling Mexican
 Buys his old dog, Rex, a gin
 But a good canine rejects a sin
 A fat man goes off dexatrim
 and gets a bad complex again
 he might squeeze in his Lexus and
 there's Tommy the Canexican
 He fronts a 5 piece from North of Seattle
 stuffed 'em in a van and drove 'em like cattle
 outside Toronto, they heard something rattle
 so they rented a VW Vanagon
 He likes girl drinks with a garnish and umbrella
 he'll cut himself off when he turns greenish-yella
 he'll pass you the check, what a really swell fella
 that Tommy the Canexican
 Tommy the Canexican
 Vancouver-dwelling Mexican
 The Great White North- the next heaven
 to Tommy the Canexican
 A cute little brown canuk singing sensation
 really stands out in the church congregation
 confuses the hell out of U.S. Immigration
 Just cuz he's Canexican
 His family up North have snow that's the truest
 his family down South have skies that are bluest
 They'd be a lot closer if it t'weren't for the U.S.
 Poor Tommy the Canexican
 Canada's dollar is droppin real low
 but it's still doin better than the old peso
 If Menudo ever sang with B.T.O
 then Tommy'd be in heaven