Parents Just Don't Understand - Edit

You know parents are the same
 No matter time nor place
 They don't understand that us kids
 Are going to make some mistakes
 So to you, all the kids all across the land
 There's no need to argue
 Parents just don't understand
 I remember one year
 My mom took me school shopping
 It was me, my brother, my mom, oh, my pop, and my little sister
 All hopped in the car
 We headed downtown to the Gallery Mall
 My mom started bugging with the clothes she chose
 I didn't say nothing at first
 I just turned up my nose
 She said, "What's wrong? This shirt cost $20"
 I said, "Mom, this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar!"
 The next half hour was the same old thing
 My mother buying me clothes from 1963
 And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate
 I asked her for Adidas and she bought me Zips!
 I said, "Mom, what are you doing, you're ruining my rep"
 She said, "You're only sixteen, you don't have a rep yet"
 I said, "Mom, let's put these clothes back, please"
 She said "no, you go to school to learn not for a fashion show"
 I said, "This isn't Sha Na Na, come on Mom, I'm not Bowzer
 Mom, please put back the bell-bottom Brady Bunch trousers
 But if you don't want to I can live with that but
 You gotta put back the double-knit reversible slacks"
 She wasn't moved - everything stayed the same
 Inevitably the first day of school came
 I thought I could get over, I tried to play sick
 But my mom said, "No, no way, uh-uh, forget it"
 There was nothing I could do, I tried to relax
 I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts
 And when I walked into school, it was just as I thought
 The kids were cracking up laughing at the clothes Mom bought
 And those who weren't laughing still had a ball
 Because they were pointing and whispering
 As I walked down the hall
 I got home and told my Mom how my day went
 She said, "If they were laughing you don't need the,
 "Cause they're not good friends"
 For the next six hours I tried to explain to my Mom
 That I was gonna have to go through this about 200 more times
 So to you all the kids all across the land
 There's no need to argue
 Parents just don't understand
 Oh-kay, here's the situation
 My parents went away on a week's vacation and
 They left the keys to the brand new Porsche
 Would they mind?
 Umm, well, of course not
 I'll just take it for a little spin
 And maybe show it off to a couple of friends
 I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood
 Well, maybe I shouldn't
 Yeah, of course I should
 Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot
 I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block
 That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking
 I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking
 You should've seen this girl's bodily dimensions
 I honked my horn just to get her attention
 She said, "Was that for me?"
 I said, "Yeah"
 She said, "Why?"
 I said, "Come on and take a ride with a helluva guy"
 She said, "How do I know you're not sick?
 You could be some deranged lunatic"
 I said, "C'mon toots - my name is the Prince =
 Beside, would a lunatic have a Porsche like this?"
 She agreed and we were on our way
 She was looking very good and so was I, I must say - word
 We hit McDonald's, pulled into the drive
 We ordered two Big Macs and two large fries with Cokes
 She kicked her shoes off onto the floor
 She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on"
 She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas
 We almost got whiplash, I took off so fast
 The sun roof was open, the music was high
 And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh
 She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far
 I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car
 We're doing ninety in my Mom's new Porsche
 And to make this long story short - short
 When the cop pulled me over I was scared as hell
 I said, "I don't have a license but I drive very well, officer"
 I almost had a heart attack that day
 Come to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway
 I was arrested, the car was impounded
 There was no way for me to avoid being grounded
 My parents had to come off from vacation to get me
 I'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me
 My parents walked in
 I got my grip, I said, "Ah, Mom, Dad, how was your trip?"
 They didn't speak
 I said, "I want to plead my case"
 But my father just shoved me in the car by my face
 That was a hard ride home, I don't know how I survived
 They took turns -
 One would beat me while the other one was driving
 I can't believe it, I just made a mistake
 Well parents are the same no matter time nor place
 So to you all the kids all across the land
 Take it from me
 Parents just don't understand