Tiger Woods

I got big balls
 Big ol' balls
 Big as grapefruits
 Big as pumpkins
 Yes sir, yes sir
 And on my really good days
 They swell to the size of small dogs
 My balls are as big as small dogs
 Well, it ain't braggin' if it's true
 Yes sir, yes sir
 It ain't braggin' if it's true
 Muhammad Ali said that
 Back when he was a young man
 Back when he was Cassius Clay
 Before he fought too many fights
 And left his brain inside the ring
 And sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
 Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
 Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
 Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
 I got a friend whose goal in life
 Was to one day go down on Madonna
 That's all he wanted
 That was all
 To one day go down on Madonna
 And when my friend was thirty-four
 He got his wish in Rome one night
 He got to go down on Madonna
 In Rome one night in some hotel
 And ever since he's been depressed
 'Cause life is shit from here on in
 And all our friends just shake their heads
 And say too soon, too soon, too soon
 He went down on Madonna too soon
 Too young, too young, too soon, too soon
 And it ain't braggin' if it's true
 Yes sir, yes sir
 It ain't braggin' if it's true
 Muhammad Ali said that
 Back when he was Cassius Clay
 Before he fought too many fights
 And left his brain inside the ring
 And sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
 Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
 Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
 Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
 If certain girls don't look at you
 It means that they like you a lot
 If other girls don't look at you
 It just means they're ignoring you
 How can you know, how can you know?
 Which is which, who's doing what?
 I guess that you can ask 'em
 Which one are you baby?
 Do you like me or are you ignoring me?
 Do you like me or are you ignoring me?
 Do you like me or are you ignoring me?
 And all you need to do that
 Is one good pair of big balls
 Balls as big as grapefruits
 Balls as big as pumpkins
 Balls as big as mine
 But even though my balls are big
 Sometimes I wish they were bigger
 Even bigger
 Big as the wheels on tractors
 Big as the golden arches
 Big as the Golden Gate Bridge
 Big as the state of Kansas
 Big as Mars and Jupiter
 Big as the swing of Tiger Woods
 Tiger Woods
 Tiger Woods