Alone

whilst i thought i was climbing
 i found myself descending
 having lost my way let me go up
 having lost my way let me go down
 i have no other work to do
 it would have been better
 no to be the mother
 it is sorrowful
 when a son goes away
 let alone
 and when he dies
 i watched quietly
 when the grave was being dug
 knowing that he won't come back
 and i shall not be here
 for much longer
 even if i become
 like a king or like the wind
 never
 never will death
 stay away
 but when he called me from above
 neither voice nor word to say yes
 we just quietly say yes to him
 it is a debt
 which must be paid
 here is your flesh
 take it from me
 it seems to me
 that you can't destroy it
 having spent the day with pain
 am i going to spend the night with pain?
 this living to eat
 is so tiring for me
 i am feeling cold inside
 let me go on seeking fire
 even death is better
 than this useless life
 the mast of a ship
 a nakedness
 the leader of whores
 sheds the female breast
 he tramples down
 the vast furnace
 Godlike and piercing
 binding and bitter
 and cleaving asunder
 bones bound together
 and paleness breaking
 and rending
 abiding in a place
 tending into nothingness
 dampness tending onto corruption
 corruption
 corruption
 corruption
 and merchants in trembling
 dragged down into horror
 terrible and whirling
 the dust in the palm
 sublime circumcision
 solitude and desolation
 a goatherd unto lost
 all destruction
 grinding thin powder
 withering and fading
 the reaping-hook of dullness
 earth thrown up
 all flesh turn
 the mountains are cast out
 lions trembling with fury
 thy braking in my barrenness
 the destroyer of days
 the silent lion
 we know him fury
 the death of flesh
 he moves with a creeping motion
 they destroy by the sky flame
 of their smoky breath
 the painbringers
 they shriek with a
 long
 drawn
 cry