I Must Want It This Way

I never thought that I'd sell out.
 I never thought that they'd buy in.
 I fought the devil with his handcuffs on,
 then I just let that bastard win.
 I've got countless excuses.
 I can explain it away.
 But when you boil it down,
 I must want it this way.
 I deal in gazes made of glass.
 I traffic smiles made of stone.
 I've built this hollow empire to the sky,
 and now I live here all alone.
 I can justify everything.
 I can excuse it away.
 But when you boil it down,
 I must want it this way.
 I know exactly what happened.
 I know just what went wrong.
 I know you're right here beside me
 and you've been there all along.
 If I just opened my eyes...
 If I just unchained my hands...
 If I just hoisted this anchor...
 If I just abandoned this plan...
 I can frame this in context.
 I can absolve any blame.
 But when you boil it down,
 I must want it this way.