crumbling / suicide note

I wish that I could find another way
 But I am not alive, already dead
 So long before I
 I wish you knew how I feel
 About you, about you
 Don't think it's sad too
 Sad too
 Suffer I'm glad too
 Glad too
 I'm crumbling down
 I am still stuck in this town
 Life of a letdown
 Letdown
 Jumping to get down
 Get down
 And I need some help
 As for it, no chance it help
 Laugh at it, after we fail
 But I can't get up again
 Do some more to sober up
 Five-cards wants to blow me up
 Falling is the best of fun
 The last look at this gun
 Every room in my house is a fucking mess
 I wanna paint the wall with a shotgun blast
 Maybe that's what it takes to wake up my friends
 Hope you know what you were missing then
 I wanna write a note that makes my friends cry
 ♪
 Write a note that makes my friends cry
 Really makes me wanna take my life
 Take my life
 (Hey, uhm... it's me and I don't really know how to say this, but...)
 (I don't think uhm...)
 (I'll be coming home tonight, and I just wanted to let you know that)
 (It's not your fault and I love you a lot. Uhh...)
 (You know I've been thinking about this for a)
 (While and I... settled on it y'know so I love you)