Gertcha

Now there's a word that I don't understand
 I hear it every day from my old man
 It may be Cockney rhyming slang
 It ain't in no school book
 He says it every time that he gets mad
 A regular caution is my old dad
 Rub the old man up the wrong way, bet your life you'll hear him say
 Gertcha, cowson, gertcha
 Gertcha!
 When the kids are swinging on the gate
 Gertcha!
 When the paperboy's half an hour late
 Gertcha!
 When the pigeons are pecking at his seed
 Gertcha!
 When the barber starts digging up his bean
 Gertcha, cowson
 Gertcha!
 Bar stool preaching
 That's the old man's game!
 Now the old man was a Desert Rat
 Khaki shorts and a khaki hat
 How me mother could have fancied that
 I just don't know
 But when the enemy came in sight
 They gave up without a fight
 They rubbed him up the wrong way
 This is what they heard him say
 Gertcha, cowson, gertcha
 Gertcha!
 When me rock and roll records wake him up
 Gertcha!
 When the Poles knock England out of the cup
 Gertcha!
 When the kids are banging on his door
 Gertcha!
 When the barman won't serve him any more
 Gertcha, cowson
 Gertcha!
 Bar stool preaching
 He's always been the same!
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 Gertcha, cowson
 Gertcha!
 Gertcha!
 When the dog's left a message on the step
 Gertcha!
 Lester Piggott, when he lost it by a neck
 Gertcha!
 When me brother kicks the toes out of his shoes
 Gertcha!
 When the houseflies are flying round his food
 Gertcha, cowson
 Gertcha!
 Bar stool preaching
 He's always been the same!
 Gertcha!
 Gertcha!
 Gertcha!
 Gertcha!
 Gertcha!
 When me mother says he can't go down the pub
 Gertcha!
 Sister's boyfriend putting sister up the club
 Gertcha!
 When the tomcats, when they're kicking up a din
 Gertcha!
 Tottenham Hotspur couldn't get one in
 Gertcha!
 When me mother locks him out of the flat
 Gertcha!
 When it's raining and he can't find his hat
 Gertcha!
 In the mornings when his motorcar won't go
 Gertcha!
 Next-door neighbour, when he won't give him a tow
 Gertcha!
 Gertcha!
 Gertcha!
 Gertcha!