Anything Goes

Times have changed
 And we've often rewound the clock
 Since the Puritans got a shock
 When they landed on Plymouth Rock
 If today
 Any shock they should try to stem
 'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock
 Plymouth Rock would land on them
 In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
 Was looked on as something shocking
 But now, God knows
 Anything goes
 Good authors too who once knew better words
 Now only use four-letter words
 Writing prose
 Anything goes
 If driving fast cars you like
 If low bars you like
 If old hymns you like
 If bare limbs you like
 If Mae West you like
 Or me undressed you like
 Why, nobody will oppose
 When ev'ry night the set that's smart is In-
 Truding in nudist parties in
 Studios
 Anything goes
 When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)
 Can get Russian reds to "yes" her
 Then I suppose
 Anything goes
 When Rockefeller still can hoard enough money to let Max Gordon
 Produce his shows
 Anything goes
 The world has gone mad today
 And good's bad today
 And black's white today
 And day's night today
 And that gent today
 You gave a cent today
 Once had several chateaux
 When folks who still can ride in jitneys
 Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys
 Lack baby clothes
 Anything goes
 When Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction
 Instruct Anna Sten in diction
 Then Anna shows
 Anything goes
 When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up
 Now turns a handspring landing up-
 On her toes
 Anything goes
 Just think of those shocks you've got
 And those knocks you've got
 And those blues you've got
 From that news you've got
 And those pains you've got
 (If any brains you've got)
 From those little radios
 So Missus R., with all her trimmings
 Can broadcast a bed from Simmons
 Cause Franklin knows
 Anything goes