Disconnected

When you get a taste
 Of the life you crave
 But the bed you made
 Starts feeling like a hearse
 It's a fitting curse
 That the dream you chase
 Just leaves you feeling worse
 The writing gets painful
 'Cause you built this from the dirt
 And the songs you're playing
 Over and over never seem to work
 When you're falling short
 Try to build it up
 And let the feeling ride
 I never held so hard onto the
 Things that keep me grounded
 'Cause I've gotten used to running away
 You said it wouldn't be easy
 And I didn't believe you
 Now I see firsthand why
 I feel disconnected
 With an empty room
 And a 15 hour drive
 We're living city to city
 I'll be gone 'til June
 While my loved ones pass me by
 I always thought I was ready
 Well I tried
 So fucking hard
 But letting go is
 Never what it takes
 To break the spell of giving
 In to what you think of me
 The writing, it gets painful
 When you're asking me to stay
 'Cause the song keeps
 Playing over and over
 Begging me
 I never held so hard onto the
 Things that keep me grounded
 'Cause I've gotten used to running away
 You said it wouldn't be easy
 And I didn't believe you
 Now I see firsthand why
 I feel disconnected
 Your heart says warm Decembers
 But I'm still stuck in May
 How can i be there for you
 When I'm here for me?
 I never held so hard onto the
 Things that keep me grounded
 'Cause I've gotten used to running away
 You said it wouldn't be easy
 And I didn't believe you
 Now I see firsthand why
 I feel disconnected