Cellular Phone

Lawd-a-mercy
 A need to mek a special call, han me di telephone
 An when mi call, me cyaa get no dial tone
 Lawd-a-mercy
 Mi diss buy mi house a love zone
 Anyway, hey!
 Excuse, pass mi cellular phone
 Mek me call Antoinette an Simone. Hey!
 Tell dem nuh move a muscle ahm comin' home
 To take a trip down eena dem love zone
 Hey! Gal haffi bawl and scream and moan
 Me start swing di old tiger bone
 We use brush-brush we shoes, and fling whey stone
 So tell di man dem leave dat alone
 Drink up di Guinness. Smoke up di chronic
 Gyal start to bawl, me give dem di tonic
 Gyal get di proformance, an den astonish
 An a hol mi tight and a tell me shi panic
 Well! Gyal want loving an dem want di romance
 An if yu no gi dem, dem gonna carry vengance
 Gyal inna mi bed deh pon a love sentance
 Yu si di, big bamboo yah me tek block dem enchance
 Gyal want a man yu know me deh ya instant
 Natural as mi bawn, no unda nat a substant
 Excellent and talented, me doan unbalance
 I naw drap off like di guy Jack Palance
 Gal a mi gat di fuel fi light up yu lamp
 And gat di wata fi pour inna yu tank
 When di 'eat stawt di gyal a search fi ijant
 A scream an a bawl seh di belly battam cramp
 Me haffi send Toddler go call di ambulance
 Mi a di only soldier weh inna har camp
 Gyal. Fram is love me doan ramp
 Well. Big an fat weigh five hundred poun
 Well, di Killa ganna break it down
 Laawd. Di gyal bring di whole a country come a town
 An seh she waa fi wear Killa crown
 But. Gyal a bawl "Help!" juss like dem a drown
 When me stawt selleck dem soun
 Romance is di name of mi cologne
 An me diss buy house a love zone
 Well. Gyal a mek noise like a giant alarm
 Gyal waa fi run when fimme hingin tun awn
 Me tree teet fawk mi tek a plough up har farm
 Plant mi banana an' sink fimme cawn
 Whole 'eap a 'ungry-belly pickinny deh ya a yawn
 Non-stap work, is just horn an' horn
 Gyal inna mi house pon love sentance remand
 Blow like hurricane an spring wata like stawm
 A fin' excuse a seh one a clack gawn
 A whey she aggo tell har modda seh inna di mawn
 Me naw stap werk because pickney shall bawn
 Yu shouldn't fin' yusself inna mi palm
 Well. Hand me ma phone
 Mek me cawl Jacqueline an Simone. Hey
 Tell dem nuh move no muscle, Killa coming home
 To tek a trip down inna di love zone