Here's Your Sign Christmas

I took my son to the mall the other day to see santa claus
 The woman in line behind me says "Hey is that Santa Claus up there?"
 I said "No ma'm, it's a Kenny Rodgers stunt double
 Here's your sign
 The other day I bought a wreath to go on our front door
 As I was walkin' out the store a man stopped me and said
 "Hey, are you going to hang that on your door?"
 I said "No sir, it's a Christmas toilet seat cover
 Got the idea from Martha Stewart
 Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
 You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your stupid sign
 Oh, here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
 You lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your stupid sign
 I hung those little Christmas lights on my house
 You know the kind that blink on and off
 My neighbour comes over and says
 "Bill how do you get those to blink on and off like that?"
 I said "I've got my son inside pluggin', unpluggin'
 Pluggin', unpluggin', here's your sign
 I took my family to buy a Christmas tree the other night
 When we walked onto the lot this guy walked up to me and says
 "Hey, y'all here to buy a Christmas tree?"
 I said, "No sir, my son needs to go to
 The bathroom and these trees looked really inviting
 Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
 You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your stupid sign
 Oh! here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
 You lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your stupid sign
 Have no fear when you're spreading cheer during Christmas time
 The other night my family and I were walking
 Through the neighbourhood looking at all the Christmas decorations
 When we came across this house that had a manger scene
 Now there was this whole group of people looking at it
 When I overheard this one guy say
 "Hey, are those the three wise men?"
 I said "No sir that's ZZ Top doin' a farming concert
 Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
 You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your stupid sign
 Oh, here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
 You lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your stupid sign
 Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
 have no fear when you're spreading cheer during Christmas time
 And finally my wife and I were in a grocery store
 The other day and I heard a woman ask the clerk
 "Do you know what time midnight mass starts on Christmas eve?"
 And in the holiday spirit I walked over and said "Here's your sign"
 Happy holidays everybody