The Worst Pies in London

Ah, a customer
 Wait, what's your rush what's your hurry
 You gave me such a fright I thought you was a ghost
 Half a minute can't you sit, sit you down, sit!
 All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks.
 Did you come here for a pie sir?
 Do forgive me if me head's a little vague... (Ugh, what is that?)
 But you'd think we have the plague.
 From the way that people keep avoiding
 No you don't!
 Heaven knows I try sir, but there's no one comes in even to inhale
 Right you are sir would you like a drop of ale?
 Mind you I can't hardly blame them. These are probably the worst pies in London.
 I know why nobody cares to take them, I should know, I make them, but good now, the worst pies in London
 Even that's polite, the worst pies in London. If you doubt it take a bite.
 Is that just disgusting? Ya have to concede it, it's nothing but crusting, here drink this, you'll need it. The worst pies in London.
 And no wonder with the price of meat what it is, when you get it, never thought I'd live to see the day.
 Men'd think it was a treat finding poor animals, what are dying in the streets
 Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop. Does a business but I've noticed something weird. Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared.
 Have to hand it to her. What I calls enterprise, popping pussies into pies.
 Wouldn't do in my shop! Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick. And I'm telling you them pussy cats is quick.
 No denying times is hard sir. Even harder than the worst pies in London. Only lard and nothing more.
 Is that just revolting? All greasy and gritty? It looks like it's moulting, and tastes like, well pity.
 A woman alone, with limited wind. And the worst pies in London!
 Ah sir, times is hard, times is hard.