How the Other Half Lives

This is living!
 This is what I call living
 I've hungered for this day
 Since Heaven knows when
 Year after year with a secret yen
 All of my prayers, all my desire
 Ev'ry waking moment with my heart afire!
 Give me the meat without the gravy
 I'll take the oyster sans the pearl
 Pinching pennies, clipping coupons
 See a brand new world unfurl
 Let me brown bag all my lunches
 Try my hand at canned cuisine
 A Berlitz class I long to pass
 How the other half
 How the other half lives!
 No fourteen-karat cronies, phonies
 Fair-weather friends
 I want an "on-the-dole" mate, soulmate
 Stormy-weather friends
 Pour me the milk but hold the honey
 Bring on those funny money woes
 Paying Paul by robbing Peter
 Layaway to buy my clothes
 Summer on the Isle of Coney
 Winter in Hell's Kitchenette
 I'll turn my dial to rank and file
 How the other half -
 How the other half lives!
 Poor? Not me, honey
 I don't want those money woes
 I'll marry Paul or Dave or Rob or Peter
 So I can buy my clothes at Saks Fifth Avenue
 Bergdorf Goodman too
 The privileged few plus you-know-who
 How the other half
 How the other half lives!
 I'm on the way up!
 I'm on the way down!
 It's a good thing we met in the middle!
 Pour me the milk but hold the honey (Poor? Not me!)
 Bring on those funny money woes (Honey, I don't want those money woes)
 Paying Paul by robbing Peter (I'll marry Paul or Dave or Rob or Peter)
 Layaway to buy my clothes (So I can buy my clothes at Saks)
 Summer on the Isle of Coney (Fifth Avenue)
 Winter in Hell's Kitchenette (Bergdorf Goodman, too)
 A wild sojourn
 So I can learn
 Livin' like the other half!