My Conviction

I wish every mother and father in this theater would go home tonight
 And make a speech to their teenagers
 And say, "Kids, be free, no guilt
 Be whoever you are, do whatever you want to do
 Just as long as you don't hurt anybody"
 Right? (Right!)
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 I would just like to say
 That it is my conviction
 That longer hair and other flamboyant affectations
 Of appearance are nothing more
 Than the male's emergence
 From his drab camouflage
 Into the gaudy plumage
 Which is the birth right of his sex
 There is a peculiar notion that elegant plumage
 And fine feathers are not proper for the man
 When a... -ctually
 That is the way things are in most species