Drunk By Noon

There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy
 He lived in a cage the size of his thumb
 And though his white horse was a box of toothpicks
 He galloped around until he was hit by a car
 Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird
 Just to remind myself I'll never fly
 And sometimes I burn my arms with a cigarette
 Just to pretend I won't scream when I die
 If my life was as long as the moon's
 I'd still be jealous of the sun
 If my life lasted only one day
 I'd still be drunk by noon
 Yes, I'd still be drunk by noon
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 Sometimes I hope to come down with cancer
 At least then I'd get to stay in bed and watch TV all day
 And on my deathbed I'll get all the answers
 Even if all my questions are taken away
 If my life was as long as the moon's
 I'd still be jealous of the sun
 If my life lasted only one day
 I'd still be drunk by noon
 I'd still be drunk by noon