Never Fall in Love with an Elf

He's several hours late
 The skyline's growing dim
 While others deck the halls
 You dream of decking him
 My choice in men has always been
 Pathetic, I suppose
 The guy who stole my credit cards
 The guy who tried on my clothes
 And so a row of self-help books
 Line my bedroom shelf
 Well, there's one rule those books forgot
 You never fall in love with an elf
 
 His endless talk of Christmas Town
 Will test your every nerve
 Still, he's kinda cute, I guess
 Well, if you grade on a curve
 And though you vowed you'd never sing
 Just look at yourself
 You're halfway through a Christmas song
 Called "Never Fall in Love with an Elf"
 The holidays will seem bittersweet
 While you're alone in bed
 But how can one girl ever compete
 With a magic fat guy in a flying sled?
 Go ask a hundred single girls
 From here Philadelphia
 They'll say it's clear as day
 You're in for sleepness nights
 If you date a guy
 Who has a thing for tights
 Oh, never fall in love
 Never fall in love
 Never
 Fall in
 Love
 With an
 Elf
 It's as clear as a jinglebell
 If you are single
 Well, don't fall in love with an elf