The Bed Song

Exhibit A: We are friends in a sleeping bag
 Splitting the heat we have one filthy pillow to share
 And your lips are in my hair
 Someone upstairs has a rap that we laugh at
 And people are drinking and singing the scarborough fair
 On a ukelele dare
 Exhibit B: Well we found an apartment
 It's not much to look at
 A futon on the floor
 Dirty desktop for a door
 All the decors made of milk crates and duct tape
 And if we have sex they can hear us through the floor
 But we don't do that anymore
 And I lay there wondering what is the matter
 Is this a matter of worse or of better
 You took the blanket so I took the bed sheet
 And I would have held if you'd only let me
 Exhibit C: Look how quaint and how quiet and private
 Our pay checks have bought us a condo in town
 It's the nicest flat around
 You picked a mattress and had it delivered
 And I walked upstairs and the sight of it made my heart pound
 And I wrapped my arms around me
 And I lay there wondering what is the matter
 Is this a matter of worse or of better
 You walked right past me and straightened the covers
 And I would still love you if you wanted a lover
 And you said: "All the money in the world
 Won't buy a bed so big and wide
 To guarantee that you won't accidentally touch me in the night
 Then I said: "You must be right"
 Exhibit D: Now we are both mostly paralyzed
 Don't know how long we've been lying here in fear
 Too afraid to even feel
 I find my glasses and you turn the light out
 Roll off on your side like you've rolled away for years
 Holding back those king-sized tears
 And I still don't ask you what is the matter
 Is it a matter of worse or of better
 You take the heart-failure I'll take the cancer
 I've long since stopped wondering why you don't answer
 Exhibit E: You can certainly see
 How fulfilling a life from the cost and size of stone
 Of our final resting home
 We got some nice ones right under a cherry tree
 You and me lying the only way we know
 Side by side and still and cold
 And I finally ask you what was the matter
 Was this a matter of worse or of better
 You stretch your arms out and finally face me
 And said
 I would have told you if you'd only asked me
 you'd only asked me
 you'd only asked me