The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over

(Adam Sandler):
 And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop.
 (Cop):
 Do you realize how fast you were going sir?
 {Excited Southerner):
 Yes.yes I do... and uh there is an explanation for that... first of all.let me
 start off by saying... I... I... I... I... I... you... you... you... you... work very
 hard... and I do respect what you do... protectin and uh
 servin... I... I... I... speedometer... got the... lead foot... you got the radar
 gun... not reliable... I... I... got the diarrhea... got to... get home.for
 the... whoo... it... uh... it pregnant wife... she's at the hospital right
 now... giving birth to twins... I gotta get there... got... the guy next to me
 was... going faster than me... just keeping up... with the traffic... my
 cousin's... also a state trooper... in New Jersey... maybe you could talk to... a
 tree branch was... covering the speed limit sign... with a... and a truck was
 tailgating me... I just hope...
 (Cop):
 Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Here's your ticket. Save it for the judge.