Gauguin's Shoes

Were I in Gauguin's shoes
 What would I have to lose?
 I would embrace the muse
 And even thank her
 And I would choose whatever Gauguin chose
 And walk around in only Gauguin's clothes
 And I would go wherever Gauguin goes
 He was a banker
 And as he sat in his cage
 Listening to the takeover bids -
 A hundred and two, a hundred and three -
 He just flew into a rage
 And suddenly left his wife and his kids
 Ding-dong!
 For trouble in Tahiti
 Wasn't he a sweetie?
 Had I but Gauguin's dash
 Had I his cute mustache
 Why, I'd convert to cash
 And have a ball
 If I were banker
 Painter
 Gauguin
 Comma
 Paul
 Fabulous feet indescribably sweet
 And distress in the street going hippity-hoppity
 Hansel and Gretel jumped over the shtetel
 But oh, those sillies
 Tagging along a gaggling throng
 Of cuties and booties and such
 Fetish is fine, God knows I have mine
 But this is a little too much
 Heeling and toeing and none of them knowing
 That my heart is going a-clippity-cloppity
 Tappers and squeakers or flappers and sneakers
 I get the willies
 Needless to say, another day
 And somebody loses his grip (Me!)
 Tippity-tappity tippity-tappity tip
 Were I in Gauguin's shoes (Fabulous feet indescribably sweet)
 What would I have to lose? (And distress in the street going hippity-hoppity, Hansel and Gretel jumped over the shtetl)
 I would embrace the muse (But oh, those sillies, tagging along a gaggling throng)
 And even thank her (Of cuties and booties and such. Fetish is fine, God knows I have mine, but)
 And I would choose whatever Gauguin chose (This is a little too much! Heeling and toeing and none of the knowing)
 And walk around in only Gauguin's clothes (That my heart is going a-clippity-cloppity! Tappers and squeakers or flappers and sneakers)
 And I would go wherever Gauguin goes (I get the willies! Needless to say, another day)
 He was a banker (And somebody loses his grip. Tippity-tappity tippity-tappity)
 And as he sat in his cage (Tip! And as he doo-be-doo-be)
 Thinking about the mess he was in (Two feet, yes we do, we have a dellatage)
 He said, To hell with the stocks (Max and Sophie)
 And suddenly thought of Anthony Quinn (Makes us two and)
 Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
 Had I but Gauguin's dash (His dash)
 Had I but Gauguin's cash (His cash)
 Had I but Gauguin's 'stache (His 'stache)
 I'd have a ball (I'd have a ball)
 If I were banker, painter, Gauguin
 Fabulous feet
 Paul
 Caught in a grab and a gavel of fabulous feet
 Ball!