Kansas City

I got to Kansas City on a Frid'y
 By Saturd'y I learned a thing or two
 'Cause up to then I didn't have an idea
 Of what the modren world was comin' to
 I counted twenty gas-buggies going by themselves
 Almost every time I took a walk
 Then I put my ear to a bell telephone
 And a strange woman started in to talk!
 What next?
 Yeah what?
 What next?!
 Everything's up to date in Kansas City
 They've gone about as far as they can go!
 They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high
 About as high as a building oughta grow!
 Everything's like a dream in Kansas City!
 It's better than a magic lantern show
 You can turn the radiator on whenever you want some heat
 With every kind of comfort, every house is all complete
 You can walk to privies in the rain and never wet your feet!
 They've gone about as far as they can go
 Yes sir!
 They've gone about as far as they can go!
 Come here!
 Everything's up to date in Kansas City
 They've gone about as far as they can go
 They got a big theatre they call a burlesque
 For fifty cents you can see a dandy show
 One of the girls was fat and pink and pretty
 As round above as she was round below
 I could swear that she was padded from her shoulder to her heel
 But later in the second act, when she began to peel
 She proved that everything she had was absolutely real!
 She went about as far as she could go
 Yes sir!
 She went about as far as she could go!
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 And that's about as far as I can go!
 Yes sir!
 That's about as far as she can go!
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 We've gone about as far as we can go!
 We've gone about as far as we can go!