Doin Damage

It's hard to be sober but it's easy to be bent
 When you got some extra money and don't need it for the rent
 Got a girlfriend now, that I secretly resent
 Cause she takes up all the time that I previously spent on myself
 And girls just wanna have fun
 And she be all fun when her job is done
 But my job is another thing, 24/7 hustling
 She wanting to do a couple things, cuddling
 I like to watch movies, I really fucking do
 But I can't stop moving just cause I fell in love with you
 And now I'm just an irritable bastard
 Like my homie E said a man can't serve two masters
 And I've got a third one chillin' in my stomach
 A little leprechaun screaming "alcohol I want it"
 And he never ever shut up he says come on keep it coming
 And the alcohol goes along with the music and the women
 So I, black out on the regular
 And it's rare I'm a end of the night rememberer
 God damn, I'm a drunken mess
 Maybe that's why I'm always fucking depressed
 I'm doing damage
 Yeah, I'm doing damage
 To my body and mind, I'm doing damage
 Call the doctor, he'll probably find, I'm doing damage
 My health just ain't what it used to be
 Cause I done smoked a packed of cigarettes a day since I hit puberty
 And stupidly, I keep on going and buying 'em
 And my lungs probably got some cancer growing inside of 'em
 And it, be effecting how I breathe at times
 I hit playback, hear myself wheeze between the lines
 I could probably quit if I was thinking clear
 But my willpower goes out the window soon as I start drinking beer
 And every freakin' year I got the same resolutions
 January second I be making excuses
 The leprechaun is a dangerous nuisance
 Who sips champagne while he angrily two steps
 I got a deal now, which should be essential
 To straighten up my act and live up to my potential
 But I just can't taste that success
 Maybe that's why I'm always fucking depressed
 I'm doing damage
 Yeah, man, I'm doing damage
 It's probably gonna catch up soon, I'm doing damage
 Call the doctor, I need a checkup soon, I'm doing damage
 Bridge.
 I didn't want to be this way
 Didn't want to get like this everyday
 But my formula's something that I can't touch
 Cause I'm gonna cycle through in the clutch
 I come through in the clutch, I come through in the clutch
 I'm too much for you ducks to touch
 I am illustrious
 I am a bad mother fucker and I truly believe that
 But I gave some shit up to achieve that
 Like my family and my friends they don't call me anymore
 Cause when they would call I would always hit ignore
 I was always self-absorbed with absorbing myself
 I drink it up drink it up drink it up 'til there's no more of myself
 And I don't value my father and my mother enough
 I don't value the company of others enough
 And human interaction is an essential part of happiness
 I believe, and that's what I've been rapping to achieve
 And I didn't anyway cause I'm in love with this shit
 But alcoholism and music something that comes with this shit
 When you're living for yourself, it's a lonely existence
 And if you talk to yourself, you gon' be the only one listening
 And that about sums it up
 I'm out of gin and I really want another cup
 So I'm out, to the store I guess
 Cause that's where I go when I'm fucking depressed
 I'm doing damage