My First Christmas

On my first Christmas I was zero years old
 I don't remember but they tell me all about it
 It was a silent night till I woke up and cried
 "Peace on earth!" somebody shouted
 On my first Noel I made a big, bad smell
 The merry gentlemen were all dismayed
 What child is this going rum-pa-pum-pum?
 Hark, the herald angels did say
 I was a joy to the world on my first Christmas
 Joy to the world on a midnight clear
 A joy to the world on my first Christmas
 I was zero years old that year
 On my first Christmas, I was zero years old
 I don't remember but they say it wasn't right
 Yuletide caroling and gay appareling
 Smelled like away in a manger that night
 I was doing all right with my Christmas of white
 'Til they had to go and burp me once more
 While the shepherds were watching and the sheep were flocking
 I was flocking all over the floor
 I was a joy to the world on my first Christmas
 Joy to the world on a midnight clear
 A joy to the world on my first Christmas
 I was zero years old that year
 On my first Christmas I was zero years old
 I don't remember but they say it wasn't right
 Just a little drummer boy pounding hammers on the floor
 Singing fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la all night
 They really don't know how I swallowed that bow
 The jingle bell or the one-horse sleigh
 But ho, ho, ho, we went dashing through the snow
 To the doctor on Christmas Day
 I was a joy to the world on my first Christmas
 Joy to the world on a midnight clear
 A joy to the world on my first Christmas
 Wait 'til I tell you what I did the next year