Baby's Got the Car Keys

Daddy put the keys in his pocket when he walked into the house
 Or did he put them on the table by the telephone
 He thinks that's where he left them. He really isn't sure
 He knows he had to have them just to get inside the door
 Mom's in the kitchen, lookin' on the shelf
 She says this kind of panic is a hazard to her health
 Time to go to work
 Time to go to school and everybody's looking like a fool
 Baby's got the car keys and she's crawling down the hall
 She's a cute little pickpocket
 Sticky-fingered Goldilocks and she's not even 3 feet tall
 She puts them in the toy box and rattles them around
 Drops them in her diaper, now they can't be found
 Time to go to work
 Time to go to school, and everybody's looking like a fool
 Digging in the sofa gets a dollar, fifty cents
 A toothpick, a candy bar, a dozen fountain pens
 Chaos in the living room, disaster in the den
 Sister says she saw 'em but she can't say when
 Tick-tock the car is locked
 Daddy's going into shock, smelly, dirty diapers on the breeze
 Dad says he'll change it but baby's got to wait
 Until he finds those dad gum keys
 Baby's got the car keys and she's crawling down the hall
 She's a cute little pickpocket
 Sticky-fingered Goldilocks and she's not even 3 feet tall
 The baby starts to giggle, there's something in her hand
 That booger drops a wallet in the garbage can
 Time to go to work
 Time to go to school, and everybody's looking like a fool
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 Mom's on the telephone trying to call a cab
 Daddy's changing baby's diaper in the living room
 The baby's on the table with a bottle in her mouth
 Daddy opens up the diaper, he begins to shout
 Treasure in the diaper, treasure in the muck
 It sure looks a lot like the keys to the truck
 Time to go to work
 Time to go to school, and everybody's looking like a fool
 Baby's got the car keys and she had them all along
 She's a cute little pickpocket
 Sticky-fingered Goldilocks, and she's not even 3 feet tall
 The party isn't over, they're about to find out
 Daddy threw away his wallet when he took the garbage out
 Time to go to work
 Time to go to school, and everybody's looking like a fool
 Time to go to work
 Time to go to school, everybody's looking just like a fool