Scarred

If this the hand I was dealt, I'll change my cards
 The freedom that they speak just feels so far
 I try to disregard all their remarks but embark what they spark
 'Cause my life just feels so hard
 When I wake to feel so scarred
 Jesus always hold me down but for what
 I was stuck in a rut. Selling dimes in the cut
 With the lean in the cup. Get the Sprite and mix it up
 Paranoid 'cause in the game there's nobody to trust
 They only care what I wear so I'm feeling like dust
 A careless soul in the muck but I kept it on the hush
 But I admit it was a rush.
 Repping our colors and screaming what up, cuh
 But my friend caught some bullets flying
 Now his girl is crying
 Ah man, this dude is dying.
 The only time I waited impatient for the sirens
 If karma is real I should've been the one laying
 On the ground screaming, bleeding, pleading, even praying
 After that I couldn't hear what teachers were saying
 I would sit in school swaying like I was impatient
 Spending every day looking over my shoulder
 My days were getting gray, nights getting colder
 The weight on my back feeling like a heavy bolder
 It's been years, the frustration still isn't over
 My mom got car problems and I wish I could fix it
 The moneys down the drain and now it's closer to Christmas
 Scared to put even small things on my wishlist
 And my dad works so much I don't get any time with him, but uh
 If this the hand I was dealt, I'll change my cards
 The freedom that they speak just feels so far
 I try to disregard all their remarks but embark what they spark
 'Cause my life just feels so hard
 When I wake to feel so scarred
 My life just feels so hard
 When I wake to feel so scarred
 I remember people telling me that I wouldn't be nothing
 Now I fight for something greater above all of their assumptions
 I was the one that stayed quiet during all of the discussions
 If I tried there'd be a sudden interruption for destruction
 I got scars on my face, hands and my arms
 But none of those compare to the ones on my heart
 When those kids in the gym class tore my life apart
 They turned me to an emo kid. I stayed in the dark
 Wait, let's rewind the time. Take a trip inside my mind
 Get a vision of me flipping out while tripping on the pine
 Now I got a question. How would you feel
 If you almost OD'd on a few too many pills
 What if you never drew steal, still saw a dude killed
 And the thought always brought you chills
 Plus sold drugs to kids for a new bill
 You would say your life is hard and you probably felt scarred, huh
 If this the hand I was dealt, I'll change my cards
 The freedom that they speak just feels so far
 I try to disregard all their remarks but embark what they spark
 'Cause my life just feels so hard
 When I wake to feel so scarred
 My life just feels so hard
 When I wake to feel so scarred