Power

You were a friend to me
 You told me all that was on your mind
 And it meant so much to me from the beginning
 How it was so kindred-spirited to mine
 I'd think of you sometimes in the early morning
 As I dressed to meet a plane, before the cab came
 How I let you down when I had the most to give
 I let you down but you were quick to forgive
 You wanted to help me
 You wanted to sit and talk for hours
 But I wanted power
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 I tried words, I tried feelings
 I tried closed my eyes believing
 I tried getting you on my side
 I tried being on top of it, I tried responsibility
 I express myself properly, I got blindly angry
 With my whole heart in it, but there was no conduit
 There was no sure way to it, I thought that I had blown it
 The further I got in it, the stranger it was to win it
 I could not have it but still I searched from sheer force of habit
 I felt like I was descending
 Some strange inverted tower
 Looking for my power
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 I wanted permission, I wanted expedition
 I wanted to have weight to throw around
 For you to look up when I found something so beautiful
 I could tell you somehow, I'd never have to shout
 You'd listen to my know-how, all the love our love allows
 I felt so clumsy and plain
 I was filled with so much shame
 Just trying to say, to say, to say
 To call out anything by name
 Every line felt lifted, every smooth stone was pitted
 By the wind and rain that hit it
 And I never could forget it, as you forgot it
 I wanted to set it all down
 So it would open to you like a flower
 Yes, I wanted power
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 I fell asleep on the plane
 And I woke up strange
 Twisted in the pale blue seat
 An hour gone by
 The sun was rising again, keeping distant
 Over the blackened blue rim of the sky
 I spent my whole life thinking
 That I was some kind of coward