Resumé Man

Well, a funny thing happened at a gig the other day
 when a man approached me with a resumé
 Said, "If you need any help then I'm your man"
 He said, "I'll work the door and I'll load your beer
 When you boys get thirsty I'll go for beer
 And if it ever breaks down I can even fix your van."
 I asked the guy what he did for work
 I saw a twinkle in his eye and he gave a little smirk
 He said "I work right down the road, I got a melon stand
 I'm set up in a shady spot
 I sell watermelons and a little bit of pot.
 Last year I made damn near thirty grand."
 He said, "I need a change and I love your sound
 And I sure would like to get out of this town
 Dedicate myself to a rock 'n' roll band
 I've been a race car mechanic and a bodyguard
 I'm a C.P.A. and I'll work really hard
 Hire me on, I can see you boys need a hand"
 "You know I've done it all and I've been around
 I've had a lot of good jobs, seen a lot of rough towns
 I'd like to offer you my services for hire
 I was a cook in the Army and I drove a jeep
 I had an 80-acre ranch where I ran some sheep
 I sang bass in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir"
 He's a resumé man, he's a resumé man
 If he can't do it, I don't know who can
 Says right here he's qualified
 50 years on the job and the man's only 45
 But things started to get a little bit weird
 When he stared at Mike and took a swig of beer
 And said, "What's with the lady, 'cause she really blows my mind."
 I knew the man was qualified
 He'd worked a hundred different jobs and done 'em all with pride
 But he wasn't exactly the help we had hoped to find
 He's a resumé man, he's a resumé man
 If he can't do it, I don't know who can
 Says right here he's qualified
 50 years on the job and the man's only 45
 He's a resumé man, he's a resumé man
 If he can't do it, I don't know who can
 Says right here he's qualified
 50 years on the job and the man's only 45