The Ring Song

There's a ring around the moon, a ring around the rosy
 A ring around my socks that keep my feet so cozy
 Well I'm a single woman and I don't need many things
 So why don't my poor little finger got a ring
 Once upon a time, turns out it's complicated
 For Tommy Lee in second grade, I waited and I waited
 I wrote a note on Valentine's and said check yes or no
 He crumpled up my paper so I punched him in the throat
 There's a ring around the moon, a ring around the rosy
 A ring around my socks that keep my feet so cozy
 Well I'm a single woman and I don't need many things
 So why don't my poor little finger got a ring
 Well I bought a wedding dress just in case someone was looking
 I practiced all my sewin' and I practiced on my cooking
 I found a handsome guy who said he'd love me like no other
 But sadly mama says it doesn't count since he's my brother
 There's a ring around the moon, a ring around the rosy
 A ring around my socks that keep my feet so cozy
 Well I'm a single woman and I don't need many things
 So why don't my poor little finger got a ring
 So I finally got a strategy and caught myself a man
 I pepper sprayed his eyeballs and I threw him in my van
 I took him to the church and when at last we heard the bells
 He somehow got away and now I hope he goes to...
 Well there's a ring around the moon, a ring around the rosy
 A ring around my socks that keep my feet so cozy
 Well I'm a single woman and I don't need many things
 So why don't my poor little finger got a ring