Randy Scouse Git - Live

One day a miss comes up to me
 Well, sounds like the start of somethi-
 Well, one day a miss comes up to me
 "Hey, there, mate"
 "Half comedy is, you don't write no songs"
 I said, "Why should I write songs, miss?"
 "Because that's where the money is"
 Oh!
 When I was over in the UK, our first tour
 Meeting all kinds of wonderful people like The Beatles and stuff, I
 I went to my hotel room one night and I wrote a song
 About my experiences
 I called it "Randy Scouse Git"
 A couple of months later a record company said that, uh
 They wanted to release it in England as a single
 And I said "Cool" but they said "You have to change the title"
 I said "Why?" they said "Because it's rude"
 I said, "I saw it on BBC television at 7 o'clock at night"
 They said, "I'm sorry you have to have an alternate title"
 And, uh, okay
 So the song was released, went to number 1
 Under the title "Alternate Title"
 She's a wonderful lady, and she's mine, all mine
 And there doesn't seem a way that she won't come and lose my mind
 It's too easy humming songs to a girl in a yellow dress
 Been a long time since the party and the room is in a mess
 The four kings of EMI are sitting stately on the floor
 There are birds out on the sidewalk and a valet at the door
 He reminds me of a penguin with few and plastered hair
 There's talcum powder on the letter and the birthday boy is there
 Why don't you cut your hair?
 Why don't you live up there?
 Why don't you do what I do?
 See what I feel when I care
 Now they've darkened all the windows and the seats are naugahide
 I've been waiting for an hour, I can't find a place to hide
 The being known as Wonder Girl is speaking, I believe
 It's not easy trying to tell her that I shortly have to leave
 Why don't you be like me?
 Why don't you stop and see?
 Why don't you hate who I hate
 Kill who I kill to be free?
 Listen to this
 ♪
 Why don't you cut your hair?
 Why don't you live up there?
 Why don't you do what I do?
 See what I feel when I care
 Why don't you be like me? (She's a wonderful lady)
 Why don't you stop and see? (And she's mine, all mine)
 Why don't you hate who I hate (and there doesn't seem a way)
 Kill who I kill to be free? (That she won't come and lose my mind)
 Why don't you cut your hair? (It's too easy humming songs)
 Why don't you live up there? (To a girl in a yellow dress)
 Why don't you do what I do? (It's been a long time since the party)
 See what I feel when I care (and the room is in a mess)