A Pretty Sad Excuse

I feel so disappointing more times than I don't
 I feel like such a let down and I'm nervous that I won't
 Deliver when I'm called upon to step up when I'm needed
 I feel like such a failure when I'm sure that I've succeeded
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 I call myself an outcast, more than likely I am not
 An outsider on the inside and I hope I don't get caught
 I feel like an impostor who should not be on the roster
 Someone understands this and of course I've almost lost her
 If I cherish or I value something then it's safe to say
 I will dismantle or destroy it and I've always been that way
 A pretty sad excuse that is fostering a sad existence
 The thought of altering myself just meets my own resistance
 A pretty sad excuse that is fostering a sad existence
 Half the time I'm petrified and I'm terrified the rest
 If I'm not being selfish than I'm probably depressed
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 What I haven't butchered here will probably be botched
 I tried pulling the wool down there where everybody watched
 Only the best intentions did I mention I'm not sure
 Someone understands this she's got one foot out the door
 In the interest of the time left and my own as well
 There is more that I will just ignore or just keep to myself
 A pretty sad excuse that is fostering a sad existence
 The thought of altering myself just meets my own resistance
 A pretty sad excuse that is fostering a sad existence
 Half the time I'm petrified and I'm terrified the rest.
 Half the time I'm petrified and I'm terrified the rest
 And if I'm not being selfish than I'm probably depressed
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 The prophecy was self fulfilling
 And God knows who else would be willing?
 With nothing but to respect
 Ah, who would want to risk their neck?
 And who among us would do that? Just look at what we are looking at
 Take in what we are taking on
 Then look around now, and they're all gone
 I'm gonna go back there, I've gotta get out of here
 And I'll be headed your way, you know that I will one day
 Back there, I've gotta get out of here
 And I'll be headed your way, you know that I will one day
 What if it all was above bored?
 Perhaps our faith could be restored
 And then the healing would begin
 We'd get to feeling we could win
 If we could only feel that way and what's the limit? Who's to say?
 Who knows how far? Who knows how hard?
 The only real possession is the sky
 I'm gonna go back there, I've gotta get out of here
 And I'll be headed your way, you know that I will one day
 Back there, I've gotta get out of here
 And I'll be headed your way, you know that I will one day
 One day
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 I'm not sure how this came to be but it's a way to carry on
 Someone understands this and of course she's almost gone