The Horrible Party

Take me away from this horrible party
 And let me get home to Mother
 Don't make me stay at this horrible party
 And I'll never go to another
 People are shedding their inhibitions and their clothes
 Many are sprawled on divans painting each other's toes
 Everyone seems to be stuffing something up his nose
 A player piano is tinkling ["Anything Goes"] again and again
 Deliver me from this horrible party
 And I will give you some money
 Why, why are we at this horrible party?
 And I don't see what's so funny
 Here in the darkness known hitherto only to moles
 People are using the slang they picked up from the proles
 Everyone's finding new uses for muffs and mink stoles
 And ["Anything Goes"] goes again, have they no other rolls?
 Some plastic surgeon's done horrible things to poor Jane
 Making her terrifically popular, men are insane
 ["Anything Goes"] is the motto and endless refrain
 My dear, it was heaven until they ran out of champagne