My Old Man’s a Dustman

Now here's a little story
 To tell it is a must
 About an unsung hero
 That moves away your dust
 Some people make a fortune
 Other's earn a mint
 My old man don't earn much
 In fact... he's flippin'...skint
 Oh, my old man's a dustman
 He wears a dustman's hat
 He wears cor blimey trousers
 And he lives in a council flat
 He looks a proper narner
 In his great big hob nailed boots
 He's got such a job to pull em up
 That he calls them daisy roots
 Some folks give tips at Christmas
 And some of them forget
 So when he picks their bins up
 He spills some on the steps
 Now one old man got nasty
 And to the council wrote
 Next time my old man went 'round there
 He punched him up the throat
 Oh, my old man's a dustman
 He wears a dustman's hat
 He wears cor blimey trousers
 And he lives in a council flat
 I say, I say Duncan
 I 'er... I found a police dog in my dustbin
 (How do you know he's a police dog)
 He had a policeman with him
 Though my old man's a dustman
 He's got a heart of gold
 He got married recently
 Though he's 86 years old
 We said 'Ear! Hang on Dad
 you're getting past your prime'
 He said 'Well when you get to my age'
 'It helps to pass the time'
 Oh, my old man's a dustman
 He wears a dustman's hat
 He wears cor blimey trousers
 And he lives in a council flat
 I say, I say, I say
 My dustbins full of lillies
 (Well throw 'em away then)
 I can't Lilly's wearing them
 Now one day while in a hurry
 He missed a lady's bin
 He hadn't gone but a few yards
 When she chased after him
 'What game do you think you're playing'
 She cried right from the heart
 'You've missed me... am I too late'
 'No... jump up on the cart'
 Oh, my old man's a dustman
 He wears a dustman's hat
 He wears cor blimey trousers
 And he lives in a council flat
 I say, I say, I say (What you again)
 My dustbin's absolutely full with toadstools
 (How do you know it's full)
 'Cos there's not much room inside
 He found a tiger's head one day
 Nailed to a piece of wood
 The tiger looked quite miserable
 But I suppose it should
 Just then from out a window
 A voice began to wail
 He said (Oi! Where's me tiger head)
 Four foot from it's tail
 Oh, my old man's a dustman
 He wears a dustman's hat
 He wears cor blimey trousers
 And he lives in a council flat
 Next time you see a dustman
 Looking all pale and sad
 Don't kick him in the dustbin
 It might be my old dad