I'm Ready, I Am

I'm nicotine
 I'm coming clean
 I fooled the crowd
 when I made it sound like I was more than ready
 strike up the band
 deprive my sleep
 cause there's no love like apathy
 the bell that tolls rings loud enough
 that it should have woke us up
 I'm trying to find truth
 in words, in rhymes, in notes
 in all the things I wish I'd wrote
 cause i feel like i've been losing you
 I read your last entry
 over-privileged kids keep crying
 the need to fit in gets harder
 when living life from a screen
 old classmates please drop all your pens
 don't write a word cause I won't reply
 and I'm not bitter, no it's just I've passed that point in my life
 I'm trying to find truth
 in words, in rhymes, in notes
 in all the things I wish id wrote
 cause I feel like I've been losing you
 each night it ends too soon
 you don't hold me like you used to
 and your eyes look like they've seen too much coz
 it's always some excuse
 too tired, too obtuse
 you look so far removed
 this time I fear I'm losing you for good
 im nicotine im a cash machine
 im the color green
 and you shoulda seen the looks i just recieved
 i need a reason to let go
 an intervention a lullaby
 something to cure me please believe me
 I'm trying to find truth
 in words, in rhymes, in notes
 in all the things I wish I'd wrote
 cause I feel like I've been losing you
 each night it ends too soon
 you don't hold me like you used to
 and your eyes look like they've seen too much but
 it's always some excuse
 too tired, too obtuse
 you look so far removed
 this time I fear I'm just not getting through