If Stuart Could Talk (See Me Feel Me)

i got a little friend he's with me to the end
 what does he say
 i ask him for opinions and political decisions
 each and every day
 i know that it's a dream dirty and obscene anyway
 if stuart could talk what would he say
 if stuart could talk what would he say
 if stuart could talk what would he say
 what would he say if stuey could talk to me
 whenever i'm alone i'm really not alone
 he's always there
 when i am going to falter and i'm standing at the alter
 and there's not a prayer
 i know it's up to him if i ever sin anyway
 what would he say what would he say
 "yes my name is stuart and i assure you i can speak
 and lately i find myself astounded
 at the sort of company you keep
 something further i must mention
 of this fact i cannot understand
 is your insatiable attention at annoying me with your hand
 and in closing may i offer this point must be succint
 my purpose is for procreation
 and not facilitating in your sin"