The Valiant Conscript

How are you boys, I'm just from camp and feel as brave as Caesar
 The sound of bugle, drum, and fife has raised my Ebeneezer
 I'm full of fight, odd shots, and shell, I'll leap into the saddle
 And when the yankees see me come, Lord how they will skedaddle
 Hold your head up Shanghai shanks, don't shake your knees and blink so
 It's no time to dodge the act, brave comrades don't you think so
 
 I was a plow boy in the field, a gawking, lazy, dodger
 When came the conscript officer and took me for a soldier
 He put a musket in my hand and showed me how to fire it
 I marched and counter-marched all day; Lord, how I did admire it
 Hold your head up Shanghai shanks, don't shake your knees and blink so
 It's no time to dodge the act, brave comrades don't you think so
 
 With corn and hog fat for my food, a digging, guarding, drilling
 I got as thin as twice-skimmed milk and scarcely worth the killing
 And now I'm used to homely fare, my skin is tough as leather
 I do guard duty cheerfully in every kind of weather
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 'Tis true I have not seen a fight, nor have I smelt gunpowder
 But then the way I'll pepper them will be a sin to chowder
 A sergeant's stripes I now will sport, perhaps be color bearer
 And then a captain, good for me, I'll be a regular terror
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 I'll then begin to wear the stars and then the wreathes of glory
 Until the army I command and poets sing my story
 Our congress will pass votes of thanks to him who rose from zero
 The people in a mass will shout, "Hurrah! Behold the Hero!"
 Hold your head up Shanghai shanks, don't shake your knees and blink so
 It's no time to dodge the act, brave comrades don't you think so
 
 What's that?
 What's that? Oh dear a boiler burst, a gas pipe has exploded
 Maybe the yankees are hard by with muskets ready loaded
 Oh gallant soldiers beat them back, I'll join you in the frolic
 But I've a chill from head to foot and symptoms of the colic
 Hold your head up Shanghai shanks, don't shake your knees and blink so
 It's no time to dodge the act, brave comrades don't you think so
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 It's no time to dodge the act, brave comrades don't you think so