The Ascension

When I am dead
 And the light leaves my breast
 Nothing to be told
 Nothing to confess
 Let the record show
 What I couldn't quite confess
 For by living for myself
 I was living for unrest
 Then the evidence came back
 In a chariot of vindication
 Something to behold
 Glorious in its path
 But the prophecy fell back
 As it gave to me an invitation
 Show them what is right
 Show them what is blessed
 But now it strikes me far too late again
 That I was asking far too much
 Of everyone around me
 And now it strikes me far too late again
 That I should answer for myself
 As the ascension falls upon me
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 So what should be said
 Of a life that leaves its mess?
 For once your life was sold
 It could never be possessed
 You were selfishly as a continent
 You were finally at your best
 For you favored for yourself
 When selfishness was blessed
 Then Cordelia came back
 In a chariot, hallucination
 Something to rejoice
 Glorious in its wrath
 But the prophecy was a pantomime
 As it came to me in accusation
 Show them what is right
 Show them what is best
 But now it strikes me far too late again
 That I was asking far too much
 Of everyone around me
 And now it strikes me far too late again
 That I should answer for myself
 As the ascension falls upon me
 And now it frightens me
 The thought against my chest
 To think I was asking for a reason
 Explaining why everything's a total mess
 And now it frightens me
 The dreams that I possess
 To think I was acting like a believer
 When I was just angry and depressed
 And to everything, there is no meaning
 A season of pain and hopelessness
 I shouldn't have looked for revelation
 I should have resigned myself to this
 I thought I could change the world around me
 I thought I could change the world for best
 I thought I was called in convocation
 I thought I was sanctified and blessed
 But now it strengthens me
 To know the truth at last
 That everything comes from consummation
 And everything comes with consequence
 And I did it all with exultation
 While you did it all with hopelessness
 Yes, I did it all with adoration
 While you killed it off with all of your holy mess
 What now?
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 What now?