800 Pound Jesus

I saw a garage sale
 Pulled up in the yard
 Found a statue of Jesus
 It was eight feet tall
 He held out his arms
 And he seemed all alone
 So I loaded him up
 And drove him home
 Out by my driveway he
 Looks down the street
 With his long hair and sandals made
 Of rebar and concrete
 I painted him white with a long purple robe
 He's a rock of ages on our gravel road
 Chorus
 He's an eight-hundred pound Jesus
 Standing taller than a tree
 He's an eight-hundred pound Jesus
 A bigger man than you or me
 I thought loosin' my job was
 The end of the world
 Till my best pal ran off with my best girl
 I felt suicidal with no real friends
 So I walked outside with a rope in my hand
 Out by that statue there's a big old tree
 So I stood on his shoulders
 And I counted to three
 I had every intention of buying the farm
 But when I jumped off he caught me in his arms
 Chorus
 I wanted to return the favor to him
 Cause I never had a more solid friend
 So I planted some flowers
 All around his feet
 And I bought him a flock
 Of ceramic sheep
 Chorus
 He's a bigger man
 Than you or me