The Ballad Of Dorothy Parker

Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade
 She worked the night shift
 Dishwater blonde
 Tall and fine
 She got a lot of tips
 Well
 Earlier I'd been talkin' stuff in a violent room
 Fightin' with a lover's past
 I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine
 Dorothy was fast
 Well
 I ordered
 "Yeah, lemme get a fruit cocktail
 I ain't too hungry"
 Dorothy laughed
 She said "sound like a real man 2 me
 U're kinda cute
 Do u wanna take a bath?" (do you want, do you want)
 Oh, I said "cool, but I'm leaving my pants on cuz I'm kinda going with someone"
 She said "sound like a real man 2 me
 Mind if I turn on the radio?
 Oh, my favorite song!" she said, and it was Joni singing "Help me, I think I'm falling..."
 Ring!
 The phone rang and she said "whoever's calling can't be as cute as u"
 Right then and there I knew I was through
 Dorothy Parker was cool
 Well...
 My pants were wet
 They came off but she didn't see the movie cuz she hadn't read the book first
 Instead, she pretended she was blind - an affliction brought on by the witch's curse
 Dorothy made me laugh
 I felt much better so I went back to the violent room
 Let me tell u what I did...
 I took another bubble bath with my pants on
 All the fighting stopped
 Next time I'll do it sooner
 This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker (Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker)
 Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
 Well
 Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
 Well