Horsechimes

Hello Johnson your mother once gave me a lift back from school
 That's no reason to get so excited
 I'd been playing football with the
 youngsters, Johnson says don't dramatise
 And you can't even spell salacious
 In a caravette with such a pretty widow
 But wheels aren't there to be looked at
 And it's cheap to say that she's delicious
 When she's someone's daughter
 Horse chimes so stupid and so mean
 On the offensive all wolf whistle and jeans
 Horse chimes they neigh they never bell
 All straw and piss they never kiss but tell
 Horse chimes - Coarse times are here
 And don't I know it, and I'm ashamed
 And you won't say it, that we're to blame
 And I must change
 There is a saying tailormade for her she is the apple of your eye
 Lord don't smother her in soapy feelings
 You buy a pedestal only to rest it in a wheelchair
 Beauty can't be beauty 'till it's dying
 And I think I'll die unless I kiss you, please don't murder me
 Hark I hear the ghost of feeling leaving
 And you know what pushed her
 Horse chimes so stupid and so mean
 On the offensive all wolf whistle and jeans
 Horse chimes they neigh they never bell
 All straw and piss they never kiss but tell
 Horse chimes - Coarse times are here
 And don't I know it, and I'm ashamed
 And you won't say it, that we're to blame
 And I must change