This Ain't Me

There's a feeling I get
 When the kids are in bed
 And I'm choosing to sleep alone
 It's not like regret
 And we're not done yet
 But there's a knot in my heart, every time I come home
 And it turns me into something
 I don't want to be becoming
 Grinds my spirit just like stone
 
 In dreams I'm twisting, running
 Trying to find my way to the someone
 The someone I used to be
 Cause this ain't me
 I don't know what's next
 There's been so much stress
 Somehow I manage to stay
 It's subtle I guess
 A simple caress
 And the thoughts I've been thinking go away
 
 But I'm turning into something
 I don't wanna be becoming
 Grinds my spirit 'til it yields
 
 In dreams I'm twisting, running
 Trying to find my way to the someone
 The someone I used to be
 Cause this ain't me, this ain't me
 
 This ain't the man who laughs easily
 This ain't the man who smiles patiently
 This ain't the man who got down on one knee
 Promised to love tenderly
 When he said marry me, this ain't the man I wanna be
 ♪
 And I don't know if I
 Can still find that guy
 It's been years since I felt he was here
 But dammit I'll try
 Or get out of this lie
 I won't let my spirit disappear
 
 Cause I don't like the something
 I've slowly been becoming
 Grinds my spirit 'til it bleeds
 
 In dreams I'm twisting, running
 Got to find my way to the someone
 The someone I used to be
 Cause this ain't me
 This ain't me
 This ain't me