Enduring the Waves

Reading about Buddhism and listening to Xasthur
 On the subway in New York City
 Back when you were my home
 Not that long ago
 This life upends me again and again (this churning life of avalanche, it spins)
 Each night (each day plummets into night)
 Now my mind in the dark brings it all roaring back
 That you could not bear the wind (can I bear the uncertainty that arrives the wind)
 That came in through the door (that came in through the door?)
 That I cannot hold you (holding you in my mind)
 Our devotions mismatched
 (Waking up surprised with no one around and wondering, "Who?")
 We could have bridged the gap, but it yawned and swallowed
 This world of ours that's now yours and mine
 This life bulldozed by ridiculous sensitivities (this life clinging to rocks in winds)
 Seeing your face everywhere
 And there's no escape, except what if we could go further in? (Seeing this long chance)
 We were each other's reward for enduring the waves
 "The wages of dying is love" like the poem says
 As long as the one last leap into the dark is wholehearted
 It almost was