No News

She said, "It's just a woman thing"
 And pulled out of the drive
 I said not to worry
 I'm an understanding guy
 I heard when you love someone
 You gotta let them go
 She hollered, "When I find myself
 You'll be the first to know"
 Ooh hoo no news
 I've learned to do the laundry
 Feed the cat and clean the house
 I promised to be patient
 While she worked her problems out
 When she packed her bags
 Her destination was unclear
 But I sensed that her intentions
 Were honest and sincere
 Ooh hoo no news
 She could telephone, tell a friend
 Tell a lie bout where she's been
 Send a pigeon, send a fax
 Write it on a post-it pad
 Send a signal up in smoke
 Tap it out in Morse code
 I'd prefer a bad excuse
 To no news
 Her mama's been a little vague
 As to her whereabouts
 Her sister says, "I'm certain
 Your romance is headed south"
 I don't have a single doubt
 That she's still in love
 My level of anxiety
 Is just a product of
 Ooh hoo no news
 She could telephone, tell a friend
 Tell a lie bout where she's been
 Send a pigeon, send a fax
 Write it on a post-t oad
 Send a signal up in smoke
 Tap it out in Morse code
 I'd prefer a bad excuse
 She missed her bus, missed her plane
 Surely this can be explained
 Lost her car at the mall
 Got locked in a bathroom stall
 Joined a cult, joined the Klan
 On the road with Pearl Jam
 Buried with the Grateful Dead
 Came back as a parrot head
 Got derailed, got de-iced
 Offered as a sacrifice
 FBI, CIA, if they've seen her
 They ain't saying
 No news! Still no news! Oh oh oh