(The Legend of) Miss Baltimore Crabs

Velma
 Front step
 Cha cha cha
 Back step
 Cha cha cha
 Side step
 Front step
 Back and turn
 Oh, my God, Penny, there's Link, Link!
 I can't belive I'm realy here auditioning!
 I can't belive I'm really watching you audition!
 Front step, cha cha cha
 Back step, cha cha cha
 Side step, front step, back and
 Oh, Amber, look at this motley crew!
 Oh, this town sure has gone downhill since I was crowned Miss Baltimore Crabs
 Oh, my God
 How times have changed
 This girl's either blind
 Or completely deranged
 Ah, but time seemed to halt
 When I was Miss Baltimore Crabs
 Amber, that move is far too dirty
 Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930
 You can laugh but life's a test
 Don't do this don't do that
 Remember! mother knows best
 But the crown's in the vault
 From when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs
 This steps are perfect ammunition
 Let me show you how your mother dear
 Took out the competition
 Girls, go ge'em!
 Boys, let's rumba!
 Those poor runner ups
 Might still hold some grudges
 They padded their cups
 But I screwed the judges
 Those broads thought they'd win
 If I plade they would spin in their dance
 Not a chance
 Boys put me down
 Oh, good morning, ladies
 Let's see what you got!
 Twis twist twist twist
 Mashed potato, mambo
 Ready begin
 On my show you'll never find
 A thurusting hip, or bumbing bind
 Was that a dance for fleats and ticks?
 Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks!
 Oh, I hit the stage
 Batons ablaze!
 While belting Aida
 And preparing souflees!
 But that triple somersault
 Is how I clinched miss baltimore crabs!
 Proceed
 Are you scared, were on live
 No I'm sure I can cope!
 Well, this show isn't broadcast in cinemascope
 I never drInk one chocolate malt!
 No dessert, for Miss Baltimore Crabs
 This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes
 Ha! kid, she'll never get a date til daddy buys her new nose
 I would say oy gevalt!!
 If wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs
 Do you dance like your dress?
 Amber, there's no need to be cruel
 Would you swim in an intergrated pool?
 I sure would!
 I'am all for intergration, its a new frontier!
 Not in baltimore it isn't, and may I be frank
 First impressions con be thogh
 And wen I saw you I knew it
 If your size weren't enough
 Your last answer just blew it
 And so my dear, so short and stout
 You'll necer be in
 So we're kicking you out!
 With your form and your face
 Oh, but it isn't your fault
 You're just down with a case of Miss Baltimore Crabs
 Eh, you may go
 Tracy;
 Thank you
 I think they secrethy liked you