Surprise

Sometimes I feel like a guilty pleasure
 Sometimes it don't feel like pleasure at all
 Face in the air like I'm trying to fool ya
 What a surprise, I'm just fooling myself
 Glued to my phone, I'm just trying to hear ya
 Sweat on the glass burning holes in my hand
 I don't wanna believe in a new communion
 Pour out the wine, taste the blood in my breath
 'Til I go and find out it's so easy
 Turn and walk away from all the sadness
 Even if it feels too hard to handle
 I know it's just a reason to let it fly
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 Bending my will, but the effort is wasted
 Hung up and dry, just a tool in the shed
 Springing the trap 'cause it's testing my patience
 What a surprise, it was all in my head
 Going to hell, guess they killed me with kindness
 Drank all my time, now I'm eating the chance
 Is a moment of truth such an inconvenience?
 Peel off the rind, bite the fruit in my hands
 'Til I go and find out it's so easy
 Turn and walk away from all the sadness
 Even if it feels too hard to handle
 I know it's just a reason to let it fly