The Saddest Girl in the World

The saddest thing about having one leg
 is that it isn't the saddest thing about me
 As I succumb to my beer it's becoming clear
 That everybody does fine without me
 Yeah, buddy, the world does just fine without me
 And, you, don't look at me like I'm some total downer
 Condescending pity's not my fave, see
 I'm just being real, no need to smile or frown or
 get all pouty and weepy
 I don't want to be a dancer sweetly spinning on a stage
 I just want somebody to spoon with
 He don't have to be from France or he don't have to be of age
 I just want somebody to spoon with
 Gimme Gimme Gimme Somebody to spoon with
 Gimme Gimme Gimme Somebody to spoon with
 See I've never been touched, and by touched what I mean
 is nobody's ever put their arms around me
 I'll be all smiles and "Hey"
 they'll be all "Ew, get a away"
 And they leave me just exactly where they found me
 And I don't want a lot of money, I don't want a better job
 I just want somebody to spoon with
 He don't have to taste like honey, he can be a fuckin slob
 As long as he's somebody to spoon with
 Gimme Gimme Gimme somebody to spoon with
 Gimme Gimme Gimme somebody to spoon with
 Gimme Gimme Gimme warm breath on my neck and
 A Man who doesn't care that I'm an incomplete wreck
 And a hand that don't recoil when it touches mine
 And I'll be fine
 And I'll be fine
 No, I don't want a rose
 And I don't want the moon
 All I want is a dude who'd be down
 for a really, really good spoon