Happy to Be Here

If I could do what I want
 I would become an electrician
 I'd climb inside my ears
 And I would rearrange the wires in my brain
 Different me would be inhabiting this body
 To have two cars, a garage, a job
 And I would go to church on Sunday
 A diagram of faulty circuitry
 Explains how I was made
 Now the engineer is listening
 As I voice all my complaints
 From an orchestra of shaking metal keeping me awake
 I was just wondering if there's any way that you made a mistake
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 'Cause I miss you the way that I miss nicotine
 If it makes me feel better, how bad could it be?
 Well I heard there's a fix for everything
 Then why, then why, then why
 Then why not me?
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 The 1st of April saw the sickening repair
 Wore my best shirt to the clinic decorated with the laminate name
 No one is laughing from an audience of folding plastic chairs
 And I'm not fooled when you tell me that you're glad I came
 Am I honest to admit or just a hypocrite?
 I know I should be being optimistic but I'm doubtful I can change
 Grit my teeth and try to act deserving
 When I know there is nowhere I can hide
 From your humiliating grace
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 'Cause if you swear that it's true
 Then I have to believe
 What I hear evangelicals say on TV
 And if there's enough left after everyone else
 Then why, then why, then why
 Then why not me?