My Wife

My life's in jeopardy
 Murdered in cold blood is what I'm gonna be
 I ain't been home since Friday night
 And now my wife is coming after me
 Give me police protection
 Gonna buy a gun so
 I can look after number one
 Give me a bodyguard
 A black belt Judo expert with a machine gun
 Gonna buy a tank and an aeroplane
 When she catches up with me
 Won't be no time to explain
 She thinks I've been with another woman
 And that's enough to send her half insane
 Gonna buy a fast car
 Put on my lead boots
 And take a long, long drive
 I may end up spending all my money
 But I'll still be alive
 All I did was have a bit too much to drink
 And I picked the wrong precinct
 Got picked up by the law
 And now I ain't got time to think
 Gonna buy a tank and an aeroplane
 When she catches up with me
 Won't be no time to explain
 She thinks I've been with another woman
 And that's enough to send her half insane
 Gonna buy a fast car
 Put on my lead boots
 And take a long, long drive
 I may end up spending all my money
 But I'll still be alive
 And I'm oh so tired of running
 Gonna lay down on the floor
 I gotta rest some time so
 I can get to run some more
 She's coming!
 She's coming!